Deciphering The “Hater” Mentality

 

 

 

 

 

FACT: Being ambitious, empowered and successful while simultaneously being liked by everyone is IMPOSSIBLE. One of the cosmic battles that exists is the desire for acceptance, love – or basically the fear of rejection – wrestling with our desire for SUCCESS! In other words, the idea of becoming massively successful in any area of life (health, business, relationships, etc.) and also being loved by all is simply unrealistic desire. For every successful individual you will find a sufficient volume of critics. Now it’s easy to discuss this of celebrities , as we know every famous actors, artist, musicians have his/her fair share of “enemies”, but it isn’t easy to digest when we take ordinary individuals (like you and I) and balance and weigh our desire for success against the fear of rejection.

Why do you think every successful hip-hop artists that makes it, has a song dedicated to their OWN haters? Jay-Z knows ALL about them.

How much resistence do you think a young Steve Jobs expereinced when wanting to change the landscape of consumer computer products?

 

It’s a known psychological fact that people are MORE lead by their fears then they are their desires. As humans we will take more action at a sense of loss than we would for chance at opportunity.

Success takes massive leadership, and with leadership one is exposed to possible rejection. You step outside with your shoulders and head held high, confident and empowered, excited to change your life you’ll find out very quickly the amount of cynics in your life – both family, friends and strangers that are saying to themselves, “who the f*ck do you think you are?” – “what makes you so special!?” – “you’ve got A LOT of nerve to have that much ambition in this economy!” – “I’m not materialistic like you, I just trust God.” – “ etc. etc.

Go through life with this type of empowerment and prepared to get slapped!

 

If your laughing its cause you know what I mean. If you are saying, oh that’s not true…. You are probably who I am talking about.

Yes, I am being partly sarcastic (not really), maybe you’re someone that is genuinely happy to see others “making it happen” and by “making it happen” I’m simply stating that one is excelling in certain areas of life. For the sake of this article we’ll focus on financial success, (since money makes people so emotional). There is another universal truth that comes to play and that is: friends are willing to help you and be happy for you, but they just don’t want to see you go TOO far.

Bullshit you say? Maybe, but think about it. You may be saying to yourself, “they aren’t you’re true friends then!” But I’m letting you know they are.

You see it’s more about THEM then it is about YOU.

Ever get a group picture where your eyes are half closed or you are looking away or simply don’t look your best, while someone else say’s – “great picture!”

Why is that?

It’s because they happen to look great in the photo!

Life works the same way… when others ask you to delete such a group photo – you realize its more about their insecurity than it is about you.

Let’s bring it back to our subject here. You go out there, start a business, join network marketing, decide to lose weight, change your life, etc. and you OWN this desire… you are now “Photoshopping” a group photo that includes you, your family and friends and retouching your individual pose. The more beautiful you make yourself, the less they feel about themselves. And who like to feel less? Nobody.

Why do you think overweight people tend to hang out with other overweight individuals?

"Were all friends until one of us goes on a diet. At that time we'll talk crap on her and hope she fails."

 

Next time you go out to dinner –have everyone order before you – as they each order Bacon Cheeseburgers and fries and Coke …when it’s YOUR turn … order yourself salad with water and feel that tension. Kind of makes you feel apologetic right? And for what? Wanting to be healthier?

This my friend is a microcosm of life…

It’s a sad truth.

Here’s the kicker of this article… take a look at the opposite.

When we are depressed, have problems, emotional, practice self-pity – WE GET LOVE, ATTENTION and SYMPATHY! Ever wonder why people that have self-esteem issues, they’ve been told great and positive things in their life but they tend to focus on the negative? While the those that have been abandoned, beaten as a child, horrible upbringing that seem to excel in life, inspire and do amazing things!

You are depressed you get attention, you are successful you get ignored and even hated.

WHY? Again it’s more about them than you. The lives of others sometime make you feel better about your life while the lives of some make you feel like you could be doing more. If our feelings are threatened we will fight to protect that. In my life that comes in the form of others waiting for me to fail, saying I am obsessed with success, out of touch, or the main culprit of simply attacking the legitimacy of network marketing due to a negative article found online.

Everyone that is ANYONE who has challenged the direction of their life and has done something about it by massively taking documented and visible action has experienced rejection; externally and of internally from others.

This fear of rejection is very real my friends. “Haters” exist. I’m not saying that it’s easy to deal with, but I want to share that it is more about THEM than it is with YOU.

It’s the inevitable that rejection has kept some of the world’s potentially greatest contributors undiscovered.

Don’t let it be you.

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6 Responses to “Deciphering The “Hater” Mentality”

  1. Bruno Cyr Says:

    Awsome article Soomin. I love that new found edge (if I can say) and good reminder on how some situation is more about them then us great piece !

  2. Soomin Says:

    Absolutely Bruno – It’s always always more about what others don’t like about themselves. Cheers! And stay focused!

  3. Consuela Says:

    The past 12 months has been exactly that for me. Although true (more about them…), I want say it doesn’t hurt. I was under the impression after giving and supporting and investing in others that when I made this very drastic change in my life to move fully with purpose, I would be blissfully supported and encouraged. Instead, I got…”“who the f*ck do you think you are?” – “what makes you so special!?” – “you’ve got A LOT of nerve to have that much ambition in this economy!” – “I’m not materialistic like you, I just trust God.” – “ etc. etc.” LOL. Thanks for the article!

  4. Soomin Says:

    Consuela- Your experience is that of many. It’s also an opportunity for you to breakthrough as almost every successful entrepreneur has endured. The article was written EXACTLY for you. Thanks for sharing as I’m certain MANY will relate.

  5. Momoko Says:

    Thanks for the beautiful article! I was exactly looking for something like this! I understand so well what Consuela is saying too. I guess after all we do what we do because of what we are and not in order to get recognition or to make more friends in the world. However, harsh comments and attacks from people do hurt sometimes. The fear of facing criticism and rejection held me back for too long and not being able to fully express myself because of this fear is becoming more discomforting that the fear itself; facing the fear of “haters” I guess it’s something we all have to go through at a certain point in life if we want to affirm ourself and simply be who we are, no matter what. I like to believe haters are my friends in a way, ’cause they help me work on my confidence and strength more and more and they push me to set the vision of myself higher and higher. Therefore, can’t wait to meet more haters from now on ;-) just a change of perspective

  6. Soomin Says:

    Momoko- Appreciate your comment – you’re right… as much as those that are struggling with weight dislike the scale… in many ways its the discomfort that drives one to overcome. The same can be said about the critical or ‘haters’…. they simply challenge the our individual spirit and ego that many times is EXACTLY the emotional momentum needed to complete an objective. Look forward to staying connected!

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